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Grandma's Kisses Dub (Transcript)
Narrator: Grandma's Kisses, you faggot. Yeah, I know. We said it last time. Fucking deal with it. Fucking, bitch. SpongeBob: Ah. Fuck popsicles you little bitch. I like this, and that, and everything in my asshole especially those... bitches down at the club! Yeaaah! runs to his Grandma's house Grandma: Hello, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Titties! Grandma: Whip out your sack I'll be back in a sec, SpongeBalls. returns with a plate of cookies I prepared your favorite meal SpongeBalls. SpongeBob: Grandma, your cookies make me feel like I have a really huge dick. dips the cookies in milk SpongeBalls: 'Oooh yahhh... ''eats it. His eyes turn into cookies '''SpongeBob: Grandma's asscheeks... Grandma: I got one more thing for you SpongeBalls. SpongeBob: Saggy titties! Grandma: Spongebob I must say I really find myself attracted to your holes oh baby yeah. SpongeBob: Oh, it's not sneth duath nay snelth. I wanna demanah, eh? clock cuckoos: DAHHHH! DAHHHHH! SpongeBob: Grandma, Bruce Willis is my favorite bedtime hero! Grandma: When I poop it makes me feel good. SpongeBob: Black people! goes to the Krusty Krab but gets stopped by Grandma Grandma: Don't run away from your feelings. goes back for his Grandma to kiss him SpongeBob: You slutbag! gives him a kiss, leaving a red print on his forehead of her lips SpongeBob: I got a boner! opens the door for SpongeBob, and he walks inside to some laughing from everyone SpongeBob: Isn't this great? My wang is as hard as a prosthetic leg. Squidward: SpongeBob, your mother's a nice woman, but your Grandma's a whore. And she sucked my wiener until I saw her teeth in my butthole. SpongeBob: How many teeth in your butt? Squidward: Christopher Walken! SpongeBob: I love his movies. Charlie: I got four words for you. I love this company. WHOOOOAH! SpongeBob: My dick, is sad. 'Cause, you make me mad you big floppy fish you. Charlie: Fuckin' floppy fish? You're a fucking ass bang, you fucking shithead! Fuck you. everyone stops laughing Charlie: Yeah, all right. You wanna fuckin' laugh? Sardine fucking shithead. Fucking flopping then flopping and your fucking asshole. I'm gonna take it out. And I'm jam it up your rear end and stick it in your stigola. Customers: ''at Charlie'' Hey, fuck you, asshole! Squidward: You're like those sponges that clean dishes SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Really? You mean it, you retard? Squidward: Yeah, you fuckface. SpongeBob tries getting the kiss off with his hand and a mop but nothing seems to work. Everyone is still laughing at him SpongeBob: I jerk off all day! laughs SpongeBob: Grandma...! I wish Keanu Reeves was here to save me from the Matrix RIGHT NOW! out crying. Fade to SpongeBob's house SpongeBob: I need... Patrick: To get through puberty you stupid little cockass. SpongeBob: You think so. Patrick: You know how grandmas are about Denzel Washington. All they want is a black man with a really huge dick. I mean come on, now really. SpongeBob: You saw Titanic? Patrick: Yeah, but the woman's a really big ape. whispers Patrick: The rockets... and oranges... DAVID HASSELHOFF!!! David Hasselhoff will not be seen with Gumby. Maybe Pokey, but not Gumby. SpongeBob: Yeah. Awkward. Sometimes I tape my dick to my thighs. Patrick: Allow me to demonstrate. First, show me your tits! does so Oh, wow look at them titties. SpongeBob: Thank you they're real. Patrick: Speaking of titties, I love **Creed. Have you heard a Creed? from the band Creed plays I ALMOST DEFINITELY SHIT MY PANTS. to the mountain across Grandma's house Patrick: This is your kingdom, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Everything the light touches. Patrick: Simba was a bitch! Everyone knows that! SpongeBob: Yeah, and Nala was such a whore at Pride Rock, oooh... Patrick: Oh yeah, baby, I'd hit that shit. SpongeBob: Yeah baby, just like Gumby. Patrick: Fucking Gumby. SpongeBob: All we need now is the bitches down at the club to sniff Grandma's ass, so I brought these bad boys right here. brings out a briefcase with fake hair SpongeBob & Patrick: PUUUUUUUBBIIIICC HAIIIIIRR!!!! knocking at the door Grandma: Oh, SpongeBob, Vin Diesel once made a go-kart that ran on the hopes and dreams of orphans. It goes fast. goes in for a kiss and SpongeBob puts on his kiss-proof helmet. SpongeBob: Granny, have you seen pokey lately he's been missing. Patrick: He's with gumby that fuckface McGee. Fuckin' sellout, fuckin' green penis boy. SpongeBob: Now, show me them titties, Grandma, I'm a big boy and I have urges to... Alec Baldwin's an asshole! Grandma: Ooh. Oh, I want him to urinate all over my tits. SpongeBob: Grandma? You're a disgusting fuckbag! Grandma: SpongeBob, the president was kidnapped by ninjas and you're sitting here with that boner looking at my titties, you fuck! SpongeBob: Thank you, Grandma, my boner is quite a wonder. Patrick's Thoughts: His hat is so stupid... Grandma: I made poopy in the cookies! SpongeBob: Ha ha ha, No, Grandma, I cannot accept these ass cookies, the fusion of them in my mouth just suck... Oh, fuck. Patrick: Keep 'em coming, Granny! SpongeBob: What the fuck would Kevin Bacon do? Grandma: Kevin Bacon would dance around in this fuckin' hat Patrick. Patrick: Fuckin' footloose. SpongeBob: Patrick. You betrayed me. Now, gimme some assless chaps you fuckface. Door Grandma: Tits. I heard assless chaps and I figured I'd see what's going on. SpongeBob: Oh, my god, you are a raunchy old woman! All those years with Grandpa really made you a dirty bitch! eating SpongeBob: You're a gay fat starfish! Check it out. Look it you! You're made a clay, you have a pointy face, you gumby! = Note: This transcript is *''SUPPOSEDLY only 60% of the video. The remaining 40% remains lost and undiscovered as of today. The original version was said to be the whole episode dubbed (''SpongeBob episodes last for 11-12 minutes), but the only version which we know of lasts for only 5:59. ''' = = '''Again, it is very rare to find a Grandma's Kisses video which over 5:59. Even if it was 6:01 it would have already been an amazing discovery. = = *'''SUPPOSEDLY - '''The reason why SUPPOSEDLY is because since no one has found the remaining minutes, people have reached a point to where they state that finding the original version is just a wild goose chase. Or the video was actually cut off purposely at that point. = The owner of the channel Greenday12688 has a tumblr account. He confirmed that the last word was Gumby. There is no more after the 6 minute mark. His tumblr is found here. Proof. After this statement, the search officially ends. Grandma's ass cheeks can finally rest after all these years.